Battle of the Sexes

Yesterday was grocery shopping day. Let me be up front and say that grocery shopping is not my favorite thing to do. But my family seems to think that part of my job description is providing dinner every night, so I grocery shop. After looking at the various ads, I contemplated going to all four of my regular stores. But then I decided I was crazy. The kids are home from school for the summer. What person in their right mind takes three kids to four different grocery stores in one day? So instead I set my sights on three stores. Because that would be so much easier than four stores.

I pulled out the ad for Meijer and checked for coupons. Almost two hours and various interruptions from the children later (the third Wii remote was hidden under a book--evidently they don't teach complex searching strategies at school until third grade), we pulled out of the driveway armed with my reusable bags and the coupons. Z seemed to think that he needed to entertain all of the other customers by singing and dancing through the middle of the aisles. They were definitely not entertained as they zigged and zagged around song and dance boy. But, all in all, the trip was a success. And we saved twenty-six percent. Not too bad.

After lunch, we headed to the gourmet grocery store. It shows up on my credit card statement with the words "and Spa" as part of the name. Seriously. Because nothing says spa like a big slab of baby back ribs and free samples of bean dip and chips. But they're giving away a free loaf of bread every week at least through the end of September. Plus they have the best produce in the area, and my kids eat an insane amount of fruit. (Vegetables not so much.) Evidently I had failed to feed my children enough for lunch because they were scrounging for every sample chip crumb that they could find. And we won't talk about the checkout experience. How many weeks in a row do I have to tell the girls where to stand while I'm paying? I admit that the checkout area is not designed well, but the four-year-old has grasped the concept. Why can't the eight-year-olds?

More coupon clipping and list making later, M and I headed off to Kroger after dinner. Where they were out of a couple of things on my list. But after searching the entire store, I found what I am convinced was the last bag of Chocolate Quaker Quakes in the store. Maybe in all of Southeast Michigan. Happy with my Quake tracking skills, we headed to the front of the store and saved 48%. I was thrilled. M was thrilled. We were quite proud of ourselves and dreamed of our triumphant return home.

Our dreams quickly ended when we got home. Kevin looked at the receipt and informed me that I was only 2 percent away from saving 50%. Because he's smart at math that way.

Of course, our shopping wasn't over for the day because M came downstairs around 9:50 complaining of a leg ache. We were out of Children's Motrin because the only thing we go through more of than fruit in this house is Children's Motrin. So off Kevin went to hunt and gather for his family. And he came back with two bottles. Because it was Buy One Get One Free.

And with that, he had beaten me for the day. He suggested I frame his 50% off receipt as proof of his shopping superiority. Let's just say that isn't going to happen anytime soon.